You know what the problem is......

"I'm not happy anymore and so I ask for a divorce"

When marriage isn't working out the way you planned it to be, you call for a divorce. Forget 'bout the vows, the commitment and the covenant you've made to God in declaration of your UNCONDITIONAL love for your once upon a time partner.

In our present time, marriage is no longer, well for others, considered sacred as it was before. I've seen a lot of couples who are living happily together, some I could say that would last a lifetime but after a number of years, they fall apart unexpectedly. I am not of course, claiming that I have the perfect marriage ever written in the history of mankind since we just got married last month but I would like to stress out that even if other countries has legalized Divorce, we still have the choice of looking back on our vows and choose the course to make the marriage work.

Ours [how we survived our relationship]

• Recall the day when you both first met. We were schoolmates in College. I see him every once in awhile together with his buds but never really had the chance to talk to him or exchange a simple "Hi's" and "Hellos". We were just plain friends back then. Not until one day, we were both waiting for our next class and got stuck up in an internet cafe --- then everything has changed. You might wonder why I've included this on my list, well, believe it or not, we never grew tired of recalling how our story ever started - the tale of our relationship. 'Tis in fact a good way of keeping the fire of your love for your partner burning. The power of 'YES', if yah know what I mean. 
• Pretend not and simply BE YOURSELF. In my past relationship, I usually pretend to be someone I am not. And for what? To impress. Trying to be the ideal person your partner is hoping for hence becomes the root cause of resentment in marriage, for most of the couples I know. That is also the reason why I don't believe in long-term courtship. Why? 'Cuz during this stage, man will do everything to impress you, he'll even climb the top and be your night and shining armor so that in the end he'll have the positive response from you. It's like an equation of  he'll impress you, you'll impress him, totting up a bogus being. Be yourself and see where it leads you to --- just like I did.
• Accept your partner as he is. Don't try to go and manipulate the person you're living with by comparing your strength to his capability. Before marriage, it is extremely difficult for us to see right thru our partner's eyes and spot his strengths and weaknesses.There's still this romantic blindness that only wears off after marriage. According to Dr. Harold J. Sala in his book, Making Marriage Work, he stated that there can be peace instead of conflict in your home if you learn to respect each other as individuals whose differences complement each other. God's plan in marriage is for us to love and accept each other as we really are - not to marry and then begin to force, nag and push a mate into the ideal we had hoped to marry. See the importance now of 'being yourself' at the start of your relationship? Just remember, your partner is not a machine that you can program to meet your likings. 
• Keep the communication line open. Men see things differently than women at most cases. They talk less about their feelings and their problems while women are vocal. It is however important to see to it that the one who is addressed understands the message being conveyed instead of getting a wrong implication from what was really meant. Leave no room for misunderstanding simply because you kept your mouth shut. 
• Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Unresolved anger turns into wrath. Wrath, then could lead to separation. That is why, it is of great importance settling our quarrels before we sleep --- advice from my mom to us, which we both practice up to now. Issues from the past and/or in the present must be acknowledged and tackled by both parties. Discuss it in such a manner that "Honey, if I'll shed some tears tonight, I hope you'll promise me that someday, it won't run down my cheeks for the same reason again." --- Deal with the problem, talk to your mate in private, know the root cause, find the solution and learn from it. Sometimes we have to place ourselves under the shoes of the other in order for us to fully understand what he/she feels about the situation.
• Take time for fun and romance. Nothing beats the laughter as a way of reducing stress level between couples. With all of life's pressure, both needs some space to breath and enjoy each others company, to appreciate life in a different perspective. There are a lot of things stored in the attic that can spice up your relationship. You can leave your husband a simple smoochy note as you wake up in the morning, make some plans for a romantic and adventurous weekend, act like a kid and think like a kid sometimes, and mix your relationship with lotsa lotsa of surprises. Remember --- think of your husband not just a partner but a best-ever-friend as well.
• Be each others Pillar. When one stumbles, the other reaches out. Sprinkle a little dust of appreciation to your spouse. He may not have the 'very satisfactory' rating from his boss or others may not have the same opinion as his, but what you think of him as a person, THAT will matter the most. Be his inspiration - the highest peak of his goal, appreciate him more than any jewels in the world, not only that you're giving him the will to pursue, you also make him feel his worth.
• Put God at the center of your family. Just allow him to be the author of your life.